My dear Mr Flange

Hello Mr Flange,

I feel compelled to write to you today as I believe you hold the greatest surname of all time. I wish to congratulate you on your moniker. It has long been my favourite word. A word that holds little sway in modern life and rarely comes up in diction or conversation. However, it always brings a titter to my lips.

As I am sure you are aware Mr Flange (titter) your name is based solely in heavy industry and construction. It's a rim for strength. For me and my childish, neh playful mind it holds sexual connotations that make little to no sense.

There is no easy way to tell you but your name to me reminds me of a ladies...garden. Wait I was wrong. That was an easy way to describe it and much nicer than saying twat, minge or cunt.

It's strange how words can cause such offence. The word itself is not to blame but the semiotics we attach to its meaning. If you say the word cunt, with no ill meaning and pronounce it out loud. Projecting with a big smile so as to eradicate any negativity. Does it make the word seem less powerful? I think yes.

The word will lose its aggression with time...like the word "fuck". It still remains a swear word but one that is less offensive than when it once was.

This softening of the effectiveness or power of words worries me slightly. For the opposite affect could also occur. Once happy or amusing words could become boring or offensive. The word "gay", once a playful term has been attached to homosexuality which in itself is not a bad thing but now the "youth" appear to be using the word "gay" in a derogatory way. It now can be used in sentences where the meaning is used to inflict pain or offence. This is not right.

So Mr Flange it has occurred to me that one day I may not get the same titter I once did on hearing your name. With that worrying thought I write to you today to ask that you embrace your name fully. To pronounce loudly and positively your name. You must make sure that Mr Flange always remains...entertaining.

My future children may bare your name.

Thank you

HDM